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By
Published: 2006
Category: Documentary [4]
I'm not allowed to watch this DVD or listen to the CD. This package belongs to the Butler Heiress. It lives in her room. My job was to buy it. And turn it on. And then get out.
Very odd. The Butler Heiress is otherwise known for her generosity. What is it about Laurie Berkner?
Last night, under cover of darkness, I slipped into her room and pilfered 'We are...The Laurie Berkner Band.' Popped on my headphones (I wanted to make sure the sound didn't wake her) and pressed PLAY. And promptly fell under Laurie Berkner's spell.
It's a curious thing, this celebrity/stardom thing. On the West Side of Manhattan, I see women like Laurie Berkner --- or maybe Laurie herself --- all the time. Early 30s. Frizzy hair. Married, often with a kid in tow to prove it. Not stylishly dressed, not conventionally pretty, but not generic either --- she's invariably alert, interested, very much alive in the present moment. Has lots of female friends on her speed-dial. Not a shirker --- I imagine her working in a Montessori school, with a flock of kids hanging on her. And this, above all: She never loses her temper. It's not that she's satisfied with her life --- her husband is a junior something-or-other, making money's not his greatest gift --- but what matters most to her is that she's living in New York, among smart people who, like her, are looking up, up, always up.
That's my take, anyway. It turns out to be fairly accurate: Laurie Berkner hails from New Jersey, played in all kinds of bands, moved to New York, taught music to kids, discovered she had a gift for writing songs for kids, started her own company in her living room. National magazines began praising her CDs, Entertainment Weekly pronounced her the "in" children's performer, "Sex & The City" featured one of her songs, NOGGIN TV channel picked up her videos. "Good Morning America" came next: "If you think the Beatles made a splash in '63, wail 'till you see the mayhem caused by this woman." The "Today" Show did its part. Laurie had a baby and stopped touring. As her web site reminds you several times, she does not do birthday parties.
Charming. Impressive. And irrelevant. What you really need to know is what kids think. And what they think is this: I LOVE YOU, LAURIE. Because, to a 4-year-old girl, she is a goddess, second only to Mom.
This should be very pleasing news to parents of young girls. The Wiggles are great, but they're guys. Elmo is sort of male. Barney, despite his tragic cellulite problem, is male. And so on. For female role models, there's Dora. But Dora isn't real. And Dora doesn't sing.
Laurie Berkner, in her pastel clothes, can sing. She can play a mean acoustic guitar. And she can write songs for kids that have great hooks; she's many levels better than the competition. The music is Beatles-derivative, which is entirely the right idea --- Susie Lampert, on keyboards, and Brian Mueller, her husband, on bass, are really all the instrumentation her songs need. And she is witty, in a kid-friendly way:
We are the dinosaurs
marching, marching
We are the dinosaurs
Whadya think of THAT?
What I think --- what I have, briefly, witnessed before being ejected from the room --- is that kids get up during that song and march around. And that lyrics like this lead to very amusing videos. Consider what Laurie and her band can do with a bunch of kids and lyrics like these:
I'm gonna catch you
You'd better run
I'm gonna catch you
Here I come
Right. Happy chaos. And passionate identification. Or so I gather. Some day I may be admitted to the sanctum, there to be initiated into the Laurie Berkner fan club. For now, Laurie is the kid's secret. As they go, I can't think of a better, safer one.
If you have a 3-to-5 year-old child and don't own 'We are....The Laurie Berkner Band,' I have only one question for you: What are you waiting for?
To buy 'We are...The Laurie Berkner Band' from Amazon.com, click here. [5]