By
Published: 2008
Category: Beyond Classification [3]
When I was a little kid with an addiction to that new thing called a transistor radio, each May brought guys in buttoned-up sport coats and skinny ties singing a goopy hymn to the season:
At the senior prom
We danced till three
And then you gave
Your heart to me
We'll remember always
Graduation day
A decade later, it was my turn to graduate, and at my high school prom my date didn't give her heart to me --- she wept on the shoulder of my madras jacket.
As for my graduation day at college, that was a total bummer. At the height of the Vietnam War, my tone-deaf school had the Shah of Iran as our graduation speaker. [For those not up on the Shah's rule, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi came to power in 1953 in a coup that the United States engineered. He stayed in power for almost three decades by imprisoning and torturing anyone imagined to “oppose” him. It was not unknown for the Shah's “enemies” to forget to wear parachutes when they exited helicopters several thousand feet above their homeland.] As the Shah began to speak, maybe a hundred of us, in cap and gown, started dancing toward the podium, wagging fingers like the Marx Brothers and chanting “Shame on the Shah.” A phalanx of police appeared, and we --- yes, I was among them --- were ejected. Cops then slammed the campus gates closed.
Welcome to the Real World, kids.
In 2008, graduates once again step into official adulthood with their country waging an unpopular war. This time, there's no draft, so the guys can get going in the workforce without worry about being hauled off by their government. But this time, there's also no $25 “youth fare” on cross-country planes, no full-employment economy, no cheap housing. For many graduates, leaving the dorm means moving in with the 'rents and sucking up a dead-end minimum-wage job with no benefits.
Welcome to the Real World, kids.
If you could give the Class of 2008 anything, you might want to give them --- oh, let's think big --- a different world. Failing that, you want to give them something...useful. It's that kind of year, it seems. Serious. Maybe even worried. Not a time for excess, unless Dad has a hedge fund.
So....some gifts for the Class of '08.
Cambodian Market Bags [4]
On Earth Day, Whole Foods stopped providing plastic bags. Paper is not without its ecological failings, but it's the go-to bag until Americans grok that we're supposed to bring our own. Well, this is the cool bag to carry.
SIGG Water Bottles [5]
The 20-somethings swigging a bottle --- that's so 1999. Smarties don't use plastic. They carry their own. [See a theme emerging?] And SIGG bottles come in so many sizes and designs you can almost feel yours is custom-made.
PUR Water Filters [6]
For the same reason you don't buy plastic water bottles when you're on the move, you don't lug them home. Filtering your own water not only helps the planet, it costs less: a one-time investment for the technology, then reasonable costs for filters.
Altec Lansing iM9 inMotion Portable Speaker System for iPods [7]
Does this kid have a land-line? Nope. Just a cell phone. It's the modern way. As is having all your music on your iPod. Which means kids don't need monster stereo systems. This one-piece speaker system does all a grad needs.
Deep Economy [8]
Bill McKibben, our most sensible environmentalist, is far from gloom and doom. Here he suggests where growth and happiness might be found in the new economy.
The Book of General Ignorance [9]
You never stop learning. This fun book suggests you may never really have started.
Please Excuse My Daughter [10]
Julie Klam had no work ethic. Cheery news for slackers: In her memoir, she learns where to find one.
Born Standing Up [11]
How did Steve Martin become a celebrated comic? He worked his ass off. Starting at age 10. This book will be a revelation to those who think all you have to be is talented to get ahead.
Bistro Cooking [12]
The dollar-meal gets old fast. And cooking is one way to a man/woman's heart. This Patricia Wells classic is the easiest French cookbook there is.
Marcella Hazan [13]
The Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking --- sounds daunting. But it's basic. Another book to grow old with.
Oldman's Guide to Outsmarting Wine [14]
The kegger dries up at graduation. Time to grow up. Mark Oldman once ruled the wine club at Stanford. His memory for a budget rivals his good taste in wine.
The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need [15]
Just in case your grad makes a buck, he/she needs to know about the glory of compounding. Andrew Tobias delivers that sermon brilliantly.
Basic Black [16]
Cathie Black runs Hearst Magazines. How she got there is one story. What young women need to know about Making It is another. Two books for the price of one.
Improv Wisdom [17]
A drama professor writes a book that's much more about life than acting. One of the smartest self-help books there is.
The Creative Habit [18]
Twyla Tharp delivers a shocking message: Creativity isn't about talent, it's about muscle. And you can build muscle.
Rumi [19]
The world's most popular poet. And for a reason. Why do you stay in prison/ when the door is so wide open? Ponder that, graduate!
Stax 50th Anniversary Celebration [20]
Before these kids were born, there was music. And this was some of the best of it.
Vivaldi: Sacred Music [21]
Okay, start with Mozart. [22] But the graduate who moves on to Vivaldi --- that's answering one of life's extra point questions.
Keith Jarrett: Koln Concert [23]
Brooding and intellectual, rocking and jivey. And much more useful for late-night noodling than [fill in the blank].
Mitch Hedberg [24]
College humor grows up.
Local Hero [25]
A movie about a young man torn between business and beauty, money and magic. But so sly and funny --- and with such a great soundtrack --- it goes down like a comedy.
Welcome to the Real World, kids....