Mildred Armstrong Kalish
   

Mother's Day, 2008


Mothers are tricky. (So are fathers, but they tend to say they don't want anything, and we tend to believe them, thus rendering shopping superfluous.) We're here because of Mom, and we owe her big time. So bring on flowers. Candy. The ritual fancy lunch. But, gee, they seem so old, so tired. Then you get a load of Amazon's idea of a Mother's Day gift list. Hmm. They mostly scream “generic”.

My thought is not to reinvent Mom on “her” day but, when it comes to gifts, ignore the day's Hallmark aspects. That is, give her what she cares about or might --- without regard to the holiday and its unsettlingly powerful commercial pressures. Bluntly: Treat her like the person she is. She likes French novels, there you go; she collects first editions of Nora Roberts, there's your gift.

In making my list for Mother's Day, I've gathered mostly works by women. And there's an unusually large selection of serious stuff. Why? Can't really say. Maybe an abiding believe in the superiority of women. Or, at their very least, their voracious appetite for knowledge and understanding. And, of course, their interest in men, and everything that follows.

Bel-Ami
He's unspeakably handsome, marginally talented and totally amoral. In de Maupassant's great novel, how can Bel-Ami not use women to rise and rise?

Colette
Her work ranges from scandalous fiction to memoirs of country life to a novel inspired by her mother.

Epictetus
A pocket-sized guide to Stoicism that fits in a soccer mom's pocket, giving her instant protection against suburban anxiety.

Monique and the Mango Rains: Two Years with a Midwife in Mali
This is why daughters join the Peace Corps. And their mothers cheer.

Everybody Was So Young
Ah, the glamour: the Riviera, loads of dough, the 1920s, F. Scott and Ernest. But it's not all parties....

Girls Like Us
Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon. Three singer-songwriters, their lives, their times. The brain candy book of summer, already moving up the Times list.

The Wilder Shores of Love
They were white and privileged -- and hot for the burning sand of Arabia.

C'est La Vie
Her husband died. She paid for his funeral with a credit card to get the frequent flyer miles. Then she was off to France...

Dreaming in Libro: How A Good Dog Tamed A Bad Woman
A fiercely independent New Yorker finds a male to open her heart. A male dog.

Kabul Beauty School
What can a woman from Michigan do for the women of war-torn Afghanistan? Their hair.

Life is Meals: A Food Lover's Book of Days
Elegant and toothsome, a collection of memories that will remind you of your great nights.

Little Heathens
The Depression years. In the Midwest. No walking to school barefoot in winter, but everything else --- including charm and wit.

My Father's Secret War
A Pultizer Prize-winner investigates what Dad did in World War II --- and learns who he really is.

My Life in France
Julia Child's memoirs. Food and marriage and culture --- she makes you wish time travel were possible.

Please Excuse My Daughter
The slacker daughter of a shopper mom tells the story of growing up overprivileged and underprepared. Funny.

In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto
Mom wanted you to grow up healthy and strong. Return the favor.

Park Avenue Potluck: Recipes from New York's Savviest Hostesses
Chic women, beautiful apartments, shockingly accessible recipes.

How Not to Look Old
Think twice. But if mom has vanity and talks longingly about “work”, this is the primer.

Pema Chodron
The best-known American Buddhist lays her thinking out in blunt, non-religious terms.

Ball N' Chain
Big Mama Thornton wrote “Houng Dog”. About certain men, this blues singer was an expert.

Tift Merritt
She went to Paris. She returned with songs that are part country, part Piaf.

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
The Led Zep singer and the Nashville fiddler make spooky magic.

Teddy Thompson
He's cute and full of attitude, and he's push-pull with women. And these might just be the best songs in years about all that.

Umalali: The Garifuna Women's Project

They live in Belize, speak a dying language. But their concerns are universal. And the music is beyond catchy.

Mitch Hedberg
A comic so funny he doesn't even have to work blue.

Cambodian Market Bags
Does she care about the environment? Still want to be stylish? These work on both levels.

SIGG water bottles
See above.

Altec Lansing iM9 Portable Speaker System for iPods
Small footprint. Major sound.

Shure E3c Sound Isolating Stereo Headphones
These put you in the recording studio. The world? Gone.

Hope this helps.

--- by Jesse Kornbluth, for HeadButler.com

Copyright 2008 by Head Butler Inc.