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Mother’s Day, 2015
By
Published: Apr 29, 2015
Category:
Beyond Classification
When your mother is 98, what do you give her for Mother’s Day?
Anything she wants.
Well, not the red Tesla with self-driving technology.
Until my mother was in her 80s, I had the usual objections to Mother’s Day. It is, I believed, a massive con to transfer vast sums of money from poor Us to rich Them: $2.6 billion (flowers), $1.53 billion (gifts), $68 million (greeting cards). I still think that. And I still think one day of attention doesn’t wash away 364 days of passive-aggressive disdain.
But… 98. You start to think: Oh, go on, honor this person.
If you’re in that mood, I suggest a kit. Not one thing, wrapped up with a bow on top, but a bunch of things that you chose, each for its own reason, because you know this woman and you suspect she’d like… that. And that. And that.
Here are some possible ingredients for your kit.
BOOKS
Bettyville
It sounds like a simple story: a charming but difficult man comes home to care for his charming but difficult mother. Betty, in her 90s, is winding down, suffering from dementia “or maybe worse.” George Hodgman was once a valued editor at Vanity Fair — where, in my day, the office politics were so Mandarin that putting out the magazine was almost an afterthought — and at a publisher. He got downsized; now he’s a freelance book editor in Manhattan. But his father’s dead, and he’s an only child. Off he goes to Paris, Missouri (population: 1,220). A small story? It couldn’t be bigger.
Lillian on Life
The most enjoyable novel I’ve read this year begins like this: “Whenever I wake up next to a man, before I’m fully awake, I think it’s Ted. Of course it never is.” That’s Lillian, 60+, alone, with a healthy interest in sex and not much interest in figuring out how it worked out like that. Born in the late 1930s, she grew up when a woman’s story was, to a great extent, the story of the man she married. But no one married Lillian; her story is not, in the conventional way, his story. And she’s not like anyone your mother knows, except, perhaps the secret part of herself.
Fashion Lives: Fashion Icons with Fern Mallis
“Fashion Lives” is big as a MacBook and heavy as a small barbell, but if your mother likes to read about fashion, she’ll find it as light as an airport page-turner. Dish? Honey, the dish does not quit. Emotion? Hey, this is fashion, not physics. Intelligence, compassion, ideas? Yes, in quantity, and not so much because the 19 designers, photographers and editors interviewed here are so verbal but because the interviewer is so haimish and well prepared that her guests nearly forget they’re onstage at the 92nd Street YHMA.
Radioactive: Marie & Pierre Curie, A Tale of Love and Fallout
Marya Sklodowska, a brilliant student from Poland, came to Paris to study at the Sorbonne. In 1894, she met Pierre Curie, an iconoclast who taught physics and chemistry. How deep was their love? As Pierre wrote to her, “It would be a fine thing … to pass our lives near to each other, hypnotized by our dreams; your patriotic dream, our humanitarian dream, and our scientific dream.” The Curies discovered radioactivity and, in 1903, won the Nobel Prize for Physics. In 1911, she won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry; she’s one of only two scientists to win the Nobel in a second field. Eventually, radiation killed her. A story you know? Not told this way.
Sharon Olds
Parents, lovers/husbands, children. Sharon Olds deals mostly — I could almost say: deals only — with the big topics “Do what you are going to do, and I will tell you about it,” she writes at the end of a poem about her parents, and that’s the strength of her work; it’s just the facts she thinks you need, plus her take on them. Mom will recognize what she has in common with her.
Colette
In 1928, Colette was just coming off the huge success of three sexy novels. “Break of Day” is many things, but above all, it’s a love letter from Colette to her mother, in which she asks a remarkable question: Who obsesses a woman most — her mother or her man?
The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World’s Most Elegant Woman
The fashion is merely fascinating, a means to an end. The life lessons? This book delivers more wisdom — and wit — per page than Dr. Phil will dispense in a lifetime.
The Queen’s Gambit
In which an orphan girl becomes a chess champion. if mom is like every other reader I’ve pushed this on, she won’t get up until she finishes.
Last Night
James Salter’s stories of chic adults, caught in the act. Beyond stylish.
What My Mother Gave Me: Thirty-one Women on the Gifts That Mattered Most
Elizabeth Benedict collected essays from women not inclined to platitudes. A strong, smart, complex anthology.
THINGS
Cambodian Market Bags
Cambodian market bags start life in Vietnam, where they’re used to transport rice. When discarded, they’re brought to Cambodia, where they’re cleaned and sewn into market bags, with reinforced stitching at the edges. They hold a lot. And they’re not seen on the arm of every American shopper.
Kneipp Bath Oils
Sebastian Kneipp, born in 1821 in Bavaria, planned to be a priest but had his hopes dashed when he contracted pulmonary tuberculosis. Eager not to die, he searched for a cure — and found it, he believed, in a book on hydrotherapy. He started dunking himself briefly in the Danube River. His disease vanished. So he made bath oils. When he died, he was “one of the three most famous people in the German empire.” In Europe, his products are still celebrated.
Perfetto Pencils
Louise Fili: “We love our collection of 1930s Italian pencil boxes. Our most preferred are the two-color, double-sided pencils, commonly in red and blue, for teachers to correct homework. (“Errore lieve, segno rosso; errore grave, segno blu”: red for a minor infringement, blue for a serious offense.) Steering clear of blue, our least favorite color, we opted for our signature red and black. No eraser, by the way. Who makes errori?”
BINGE WATCHING
Borgen
Someone connected to Hillary Clinton told me that my rabid campaign for “Borgen” brought it to her attention and convinced her to watch it. Nice, if true. And smart: “Borgen” is shorthand for “the castle,” the home of the Danish Parliament and the government’s executive offices. It’s where Birgitte Nyborg — in the series, Denmark’s first female prime minister — spends every waking hour, trying to keep the support of her modest majority and move the country forward. It’s not an easy task, and it’s not her only task. She’s married, with two children, and her husband and her kids also need attention.
BEAUTY
Clarins Beauty Flash Balm
”Like eight hours of sleep in a tube.”
Egyptian Magic
It’s just olive oil, bee’s wax, honey, bee pollen, royal jelly and bee propolis. The combination is indeed magic. Burns, scrapes, skin irritations, diaper rash, sunburns, eczema, psoriasis — it’s the go-to cream.
T3 Bespoke Labs Ionic Ceramic Tourmaline Hair Dryer
No more bad hair days — ever. The T3 dries your hair 50-60% faster than your current dryer. The negative ions generated by the T3 add seal moisture in your hair.
The negative ions flatten your hair, essentially eliminating frizz. Got all that?
Anthelios 40 Sunscreen Cream with Mexoryl
Fight off melanoma! Dr. Vincent DeLeo, Chairman, Department of Dermatology, Founding Director, Skin of Color Center, St. Luke’s-Roosevelt and Beth Israel: “It produces a product which gives us almost perfect protection against sunshine.”
MUSIC
Bach, The Goldberg Variations
In 1741, a Russian count who lived in Leipzig had trouble sleeping. To calm his nerves, Count Kaiserling ordered Johann Gottlieb Goldberg, his personal pianist, to play in the next room. And the Count asked Johann Sebastian Bach to provide Goldberg with some clavier pieces — music that would be soothing but cheerful. Bach, at the height of his genius, was not about to knock off some insignificant ditties. Instead, he produced what’s been described as “the most serious and ambitious composition ever written for harpsichord.” Recorded by Glenn Gould.
FOOD AND DRINK
Zojirushi Vacuum Drink Mug
What is astonishing about the Zojirushi is how long hot stays hot and how long cold stays cold. Fill it with 16 ounces of steaming coffee in the morning, and six hours later, you can still burn your lips. Put ice cubes in a cold drink, and, six hours later, there’s still ice. Stylish? It’s sleek. At 9.5 inches, it’s just the right size for a tote.
Pu-erh Tea
Health buffs swear it’s good for you. But the sweet clear taste is a sufficient lure. And the packaging! Four stars for presentation.
And finally… a gift that keeps on giving:
HeadButler.com: The 100 Essentials
When I was a too-smart-for-his-own-good teenager, one of my heroes was Pico della Mirandola (1463 – 1494), a Renaissance philosopher who, at 23, wrote 900 theses that, he said, held all human knowledge. I thought that was extremely cool, so in 2004, I launched HeadButler.com. I thought I’d write 900 reviews and stop. I’m now well over 2,000. In this book, I’ve picked 100 favorites.
