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How Not to Look Old: Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter, 10 Times Better

Charla Krupp

By Jesse Kornbluth
Published: Jan 01, 2008
Category: Self Help

One of my favorite scenes in “The Big Sleep” —  the classic film adapted from one of Raymond Chandler’s best thrillers — has Humphrey Bogart coming into a bookstore on a rainy afternoon. He’s not looking for a book, he just wants to stay dry while he cases the shop across the street.

The clerk in the bookstore is Dorothy Malone. Not the glamorous Dorothy Malone, but the bookish version: hair in a bun, librarian glasses. Bogart asks her about that look. She turns, shakes her hair loose, removes her glasses and — well, watch the scene and decide for yourself: Do looks matter? [Extra point question: What happens in the hour they’re together?]

That looks count is not what smart, accomplished, earned-everything-they’ve-got women like to hear. And it’s not what I like to say. But I fear it’s true. To quote Oscar Wilde: “It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.”

And appearances matter more for women as they age. (They matter much less for men, and we all know why.) The social fallout of declining beauty is painful. But I’m more concerned about the economic fallout.

In an economic downturn, management looks to cut salaries. The shmoos in the cubicles are the first to go, but when the retrenchment reaches offices with doors, the goal is to cut high salaries. And a decently salaried woman of a certain age is more likely to be fired than a man with a family — even though the woman may be supporting a brood alone on 75% of what a man might earn in a comparable position. Nasty. But it happens. I’ve seen it. Bet you have too.

So for those who are shocked that I’m reviewing a beauty book, I don’t categorize “How Not to Look Old” as a beauty book. For women with enough mileage to be nervous about their jobs, it’s a book about economics — a survival kit.

Krupp has an agenda, and it’s bluntly economic: “Many of us are on our own, and we need to stay in the workplace until we say it’s time to go.” You won’t find a word in these pages from the gospel of loving yourself just the way you are. “We’re not talking inner beauty here,” she says. “Think this is superficial? Sorry, but this is the real world.”

Aging sucks,” Krupp says, as she launches into what she calls the “boomer manifesto” — tweak your looks in ways that will send you into the office tomorrow (this is not a plastic surgery commercial) looking younger and hipper. Not young, mind you. Not hip. Younger. Hipper. With, you hope, predictable results.

Krupp makes the usual remarks about diet and exercise. I think they’re more important than she does, but both take time, and she’s all about what you can do right now. That means beauty products. And cosmetic techniques. And a ruthless attack on your closet.

Helmet hair bad; loose, longer hair good. Chuck those uncool glasses, acquire a “wardrobe” of frames. Thinner brows. Lighter lipstick. Whiter teeth. Shorter (but not short) skirts. Jeans just right for you. Niche perfumes. And Spanx — definitely Spanx.

It’s crucial, Krupp says, that you do all of this, so she organizes her plan for you. Gives you a top ten list. Suggests products to buy. Offers resources in a bunch of cities. I’m agog at her exhaustive research.

I’m not competent to critique the specifics. But I buy the idea. And as hard as it may be to accept, if you’re a 40-plus woman, I urge you to consider Krupp’s book. Maybe this will help: Consider it a business expense.

To buy “How Not to Look Old” from Amazon.com, click here.

For the Kindle edition, click here.

To visit Charla Krupp’s website, click here.

To read an excerpt from “How Not to Look Old”, click here.

To read more about Spanx on HeadButler.com, click here.