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The Coolest Kicks: Tretorn & Stan Smith Sneakers

By Jesse Kornbluth
Published: Mar 04, 2015
Category: Clothing

When I run into people who knew me in the Pleistocene, they often say, “You haven’t changed.”

What they mean is: “You’re still wearing the same clothes you were wearing half a century ago.”

True, for the most part. It’s like what Chris Rock says about music: “Your musical taste freezes at whatever year you started fucking.” Where I’m at with clothes is similar: As soon as my mother stopped shopping with me, I bought what I wanted — and still want. Like Andy Warhol, who used to buy a dozen button-down Oxford shirts at Brooks Brothers at a time.

Oxford shirts and khakis are eternal. But over the decades, footwear changes. Because I’ve never had to go to an office I didn’t run, I wear sneakers. Started with Keds. Converse. And then, as an early adopter, found Tretorns and Stan Smith Adidas.

For the next few decades, no problem. A pair died, a new one was born. But when our daughter reached the age of reason, she began to take an interest in my appearance — a critical interest. It took years to wear her down, but she now accepts striped oxford shirts and can look at khakis without nausea. Shoes were a point of contention, however, because she too likes sneakers and it is important to her that we aren’t wearing the same kind. Dad-and-daughter branding would not, in her view, upgrade my coolness; it would diminish hers. But Tretorns? Stan Smiths? She’d never wear them. On the other foot, they are not offensive. And that, friends, means that I can present them to you as Small Person Approved (trademark pending).

Tretorns came from a company in Helsingborg, Sweden that was launched at the end of the 19th century. They weren’t clunky like American sneakers. The soles were thick but light. The toe wasn’t the familiar half-circle. And the splash of color on the side was wonderfully modest.

Tretorns may have started as athletic shoes, but they moved on to the WASP elite. They were often found under socks with pom poms. They looked good with iced tea after tennis at the club. And then they made the Official Preppy Handbook and became cliché. Well, not to me. I’m loyal to Tretorns for fashion reasons — when it comes to all personal expression not requiring words, I prefer minimalism. [To buy Tretorns for women from Amazon, click here. To buy Tretorns for men, click here.]

Stan Smith Adidas are, when I can get away with it, my dress shoes. They are, after all, leather. And except for that delicious circle of color at the ankle, they’re monochrome white. It doesn’t hurt that they’re named after a player whose greatness didn’t end at the white lines.

I regret to report than Stan Smiths are the shoe of the season. Pharrell Williams walked a red carpet in Stan Smiths hand-painted with the words i dunno. Kanye West wears them. And more — he’s going to design them. A friend in Paris reports: “One out of five Parisian women can currently be seen wearing Stan Smiths. It’s so bad that every French fashion company makes a knockoff version now. The cool thing is to wear old grimy ones (like I do) to prove you always had them.” [To buy classic Stan Smith sneakers for women from Amazon, click here. To buy Stan Smiths for men, click here.]

Retro? Guilty. Nostalgic? Very — these shoes are now made in China.