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Head Butler Holidays: 2019
By
Published: Dec 09, 2019
Category:
Holiday
I’m not feeling holiday cheer. And that goes for everyone I know. We live under a darkening sky, ruled by men who take pleasure in cruelty. In our hearts, we have twinges of the old consumer spirit, but really… wouldn’t you rather buy the freedom of immigrant children who sleep in cages and feed the families about to be denied food stamps and fix up a building so the homeless could have decent shelter? That longing fuels this holiday list. It’s a smaller list than before: the best of the best. And very few expensive items. Because maybe there’s a charity that would welcome your help. Bless you for opening your hearts and letting some of your green energy go there….
STOCKING STUFFERS
iPhone Charger Cables
A pack of 4. Two are 3’ long, two are ‘6’ long. $10.59. At an airport, you pay $20 for just one.
Nam Prik Asian Chili Hot Sauce
Nam Prik is an Asian chili sauce that’s both spicy and sweet. Nam Prik (pronounced: nam-preek, literally “fluid chili”) delivers fire and flavor, adding personality to eggs, Mexican food, Asian dishes, meat and chicken entrees — it could be the next Sriracha.
Proraso Shaving Cream
Proraso was formulated by a venerable company in Florence in 1948. The ingredients remain unchanged. All natural, of course. Friends who have tried every multi-bladed trick razor and cream in the world say this is the missing link to an even, truly close shave. And it smells great.
“Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist”
This is an actual book, and these are actual drinks. I tried one. Not bad. “One Hundred Beers of Solitude.” “The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose.” “The Last of the Mojitos.” “Romeo and Julep.” “A Rum of One’s Own.” Go on: drink like a bookworm! [To buy the book from Amazon, click here. For the Kindle Edition, click here.]
Egyptian Magic
Burns, scrapes, skin irritations, diaper rash, sunburns, eczema, psoriasis — it’s the go-to cream for every external problem..The ingredients are olive oil, bees wax, honey, bee pollen, royal jelly and bee propolis. Yes, you could whip it up yourself. But you couldn’t improve on the original.
“The Adventure of the Peculiar Protocols: Adapted from the Journals of John H. Watson, M.D.”
Ages ago, we devoured Nicholas Meyer’s The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. Holmes and Watson return in “The Adventure of the Peculiar Protocols: Adapted from the Journals of John H. Watson, M.D.,” which starts with a murder (of course), seems to involve a book that could rock the world, requires a train, and… delivers a delightful escape from our present woes. [To buy the book from Amazon, click here. For the Kindle edition, click here.]
Anne Taintor Coffee Mugs & More
Retro advertising images with snarky captions. Sample: a coffee mug with art of a l940s mom holding a perfect toddler and the words “Parenting… when messing up your own life isn’t enough.” This 14 oz. ceramic gloss finish coffee mug is the handiwork of Anne Taintor, who combines. Choose from 17 mugs, including “If It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere Can I Go Home Now,” “Why Yes, I Am Overqualified,” “The Paleo Diet…. Isn’t That What Killed The Dinosaurs,” and “Martinis…they’re not just for breakfast anymore.”
Viva la Repartee: Clever Comebacks and Witty Retorts
it’s exhausting to be witty on cue. On the other hand, it sharpens the mind to read several hundred pages of great repartee — which Mark Twain defined as “something we think of twenty four hours too late.”
“Borrow My Pen” Subversive Pen Set
Eight pens. “Howie’s House of Hair — From Barely There to Awesome Hair in Just One Hour” and “Verdant Fields Nudist Camp — Get in Touch with Your Outer Self” and other similar fake businesses. Sexual addiction center: from PERV to PERFECT in 10 days! One’s for a proctologist. One is an electrolysis center specializing in those hard-to-reach areas. One is for a cosmetic surgery center specializing in difficult gender reassignments.
Palomino Blackwing Pencils
John Steinbeck wrote with a Blackwing. Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim and Quincy Jones used Blackwings for scores. Chuck Jones drew cartoon figures with Blackwings. They are “the best pencil ever made.”
French Notebooks
When you want something more distinctive than a marbleized composition book.
Thymes Frasier Fir Candle
The Thymes Frasier Fir candle in a dark green glass won’t quite convince you that there’s a fir tree in the corner, but it proposes the idea.
CLASSICS
Harry Clarke
In this one-man show, Billy Crudup begins life as a kid in Illinois who knows — knows — he is destined for better. He takes his fake-British accent to New York, and…. along the way he plays 19 people with astonishing accuracy. This sensationally smart, funny, surprisingly touching play is now an audiobook. Just watch the video. You’ll see why, on a winter’s night, you’ll want to gather loved ones around the speaker.
Timex Easy Reader Watch
Esquire: “The simple retro face looks cooler than some watches that cost six times as much.” Under $30.
Zojirushi Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Mug
What is astonishing about the Zojirushi? Hot stays hot and cold stays cold. And the taste of the beverage doesn’t change.
Moleskine Notebooks
The leather-like cover takes more wear than you’ll ever give it. The elastic band is useful. There’s an inner pocket. The spine is sewn, not glued. And now you can get them with Basquiat art on the cover.
Allbirds
“The most comfortable shoes ever made?” True. Allbirds is a two-year-old major fashion trend of a shoe — made from knit wool and castor bean oil. The two styles (lounger and runner) are unisex and everything is $95 (kids styles are $49-$85).
The Queen’s Gambit
My favorite book. Girl. Genius. Orphan. And I believe that you will care about Beth Harmon more than any fictional character you’ve encountered in years and years.
Cambodian Market Bags
These bags start life transporting cement, rice or feed. They’re cleaned and sewn into market bags, with long handles and reinforced stitching. They hold a lot — we’re talking 16 inches x 15 inches x 5 inches. And… they’re striking.
Louise Fili: Brilliant pencils, gift cards, and more
Louise Fili takes Italian design of an earlier era — say, 1920-1960 — and creates dazzling, affordable, functional objects: pencils, gift cards and treasure boxes. Careful: you will want to buy everything she makes.
J.J. Cale
He knew how he wanted his songs to sound, and he knew how to get them to sound that way. And almost every song is a classic you don’t know he wrote.
John Prine: The Tree of Forgiveness
The title is the name of a bar John Prine would like to open in Heaven — a sign of his boundless humanity. The songs are heartfelt. Sometimes hearbreaking. And refreshingly ironic: (“If I came home, would you let me in/ Fry me some pork chops and forgive my sin”).
Miles Davis: Ascenseur Pour L’Echafaud
This soundtrack, recorded in a single, champagne-fueled session, is one of the greatest jazz soundtracks in film — some say the greatest. Miles Davis’ trumpet couldn’t be more evocative: mostly slow and breathy, thoughtful and tender, lonely and okay about it.
Astral Weeks
This CD is the poster child for Head Butler. Recorded when Van Morrison was 23, it’s a mystical space shot hurled aloft on butterfly wings and anchored by a voice that starts in Ireland, transits to Mississippi and ultimately resides in that place called Genius.
Cesaria Evora
It was her fate to be born on a sun-blasted island. Geography was destiny for her — her voice was the living soul of Cape Verde. But Cape Verde is also the reason that one of the greatest singers on the planet died without being better known.
Local Hero
A direct, straight-ahead American and some Scots whose humor is as dry as a 30-year-old single malt try to do a real estate deal. The joke’s on the American. And it takes him the entire movie to get it.
Simple Abundance: 365 Days to a Balanced and Joyful Life
Oprah loved it, and “gratitude” became a movement. 25 years later, Sarah Ban Breathnach has revised and updated the book.
LUXURY
Diptyque candles
It takes 1,300 roses to make ONE gram of pure rose oil used in a Diptyque. This candle lasts so long it’s like a bottle of Dom Perignon that keeps refilling itself while your back is turned.
Claridge’s: The Cookbook
Claridge’s opened in 1853. From the start, it was viewed as “an annex to Buckingham Palace,” and travelers who require 5-star comfort have followed Queen Victoria’s lead; unlike other venerable institutions, Claridge’s has little need for “marketing” or “branding.” Still, the cookbook is perhaps overdue. “It’s only taken 164 years, so we’re a bit slow with that,” says Chef Martyn Nail, which is just what you’d expect from a man who’s had the same employer for 30 years.
The Filson Briefcase
The Filson briefcase is so well designed and so well made it could be the last briefcase you’ll ever buy. What if it glitches down the pike? Clinton Filson’s original pledge still applies: “We guarantee every item purchased from us. No more, no less. Your satisfaction is the sole purpose of our transaction.”
Capresso Burr Coffee Grinder
A cheap grinder batters the beans and chips them into uneven bits. The pros use a burr grinder. They know.
HEALTH AND BEAUTY
Anthelios XL SPF 50+ Sunscreen
What’s so great about Anthelios with Mexoryl? Dr. Darrell Rigel, clinical professor of dermatology at New York University: Mexoryl “is the No. 1 individual ingredient in terms of protection from Ultraviolet A radiation.”
Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C
Most of the Vitamin C in pills or capsules — that is, Vitamin C in the form you probably take — never reaches the bloodstream. Estimates of its absorption rate are less than 50%. Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C has a 90% absorption rate. Result: I haven’t had a cold in 2 years.
Pu-erh tea
It looks like a cow pie. But it has taste benefits. And is distinctively packaged. Alice Waters drinks Pu-erh tea. And swears by it: “My cholesterol went down 100 points since I started drinking this.”
THE HOLIDAYS FOR CHILDREN
The Polar Express
On Christmas Eve, a father tells his son that there’s no Santa Claus. Later that night, a train packed with children stops in front of a boy’s house. He hops on and travels to the North Pole, where Santa offers him the first toy of Christmas. The boy chooses a reindeer’s bell. On the way home, he loses it. How he finds it and what that means — that’s where you reach for the Kleenex.
A Christmas Carol
Charles Dickens and Jesse Kornbluth: How is that for a byline? How did it happen? Because the Dickens masterpiece is 28,000 words. Good luck reading them all to a kid. So I edited it to 13,000 words — just as Dickens did when he read it in performance. With Paige Peterson’s spooky illustrations.
The Snowman
A boy in rural England builds a snowman. At midnight, as the boy looks out his window, the snowman lights up. The boy runs outside. He invites the snowman to tour his home. Then the snowman takes his hand. And off they fly, over England, over water, to the North Pole. And then… Fantastic story. Amazing animation. The most beautiful song. This 22-minute film is the very definition of perfection. For kids 3 and up. [I’m reminded that the book is just as exceptional, and ideal for kids 4 to 8.]
HOLIDAY MUSIC
Phil Spector: A Christmas Gift for You
The best holiday album ever made.
Christmas with the Tallis Scholars
Founded in 1973 by Peter Phillips, this English group has released 50 CDs and given 1,600 concerts. Over the decades, the Scholars have become the gold standard of Renaissance music. As this recording proves.
SPORTS
Levels of the Game
On the surface, this is an account of a single match between Arthur Ashe and Clark Graebner in the semifinals at the U.S. Open in Forest Hills. But as the title suggests, a game — any game, at any degree of competition — is not just about competence. How you play is a revelation of character; how you play is who you are. Many tennis buffs think this is the best book ever written about the sport.
COOKING
Canal House Cooks Every Day
Melissa Hamilton and Christopher Hirsheimer won the lottery. They get to live authentic lives and cook real food and write books that are both creative and simple. These 250 recipes are the proof.
At Home with May and Axel Vervoordt: Recipes for Every Season
The Vervoordts live in a castle. Axel is an art and antiques dealer and a decorator. May cooks. She quotes Virginia Woolf: “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” Her guests do.
MY STUFF
Married Sex: a Love Story
From the New York Times review: “Kornbluth’s debut novel, about a happy marriage interrupted by a ménage à trois, could easily have coasted on its promise of titillation. Instead it is a skillfully written, lighthearted and clever story that manages to be steamy but never salacious… Kornbluth has a screenwriter’s ear for witty banter, and the novel hinges on the charming voice of its narrator.”
HeadButler.com: The 100 Essentials
I read through a decade of Butlers, picked the best 200, pared that list to 100 of my favorite pieces on books, movies and music.
