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Valentine’s Day 2019
By
Published: Feb 06, 2019
Category:
Beyond Classification
In the run-up to Valentine’s Day, we scurry around looking for something that’s… just right. Because feelings — real feelings — are hard to express. Even the most eloquent of us go dumb in the presence of the beloved. And so.. things.
But first, some a Public Service Announcement. Because of what’s officially called a “partial government shutdown,” food stamp recipients are facing a terrible month: they need enough stamps to feed their families for 6 weeks — but because the government distributed the monthly food stamps early and won’t distribute them again until March 1, 40% of food stamp recipients will experience a gap of more than 45 days between funding, and 25% will experience more than a 50-day gap. In New York City, that’s 1.6 million people. So maybe, in honor of your Valentine, you might donate to a food bank.
As for gifts, the best, in my experience, are beyond price. A hand-written note. A meal you cook. A favor. A gesture. Something that says gratitude, caring, and the ultimate: recognition and acceptance. But things can also hit the bullseye. Below, some suggestions.
LOVE STORIES
Love in the Time of Cholera
Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s story takes the idea of postponed romance to an astonishing extreme. As the novel begins, Dr. Juvenal Urbino, now 81, has been married to Fermina Daza, 72, for more than half a century. He tries to rescue a bird in a tree, falls and dies. His wife feels “an irresistible longing to begin life with him all over again so they could say what they had left unsaid and do everything right that they had done badly.” Among the mourners is Florentino Ariza. He is the last to leave. And he has a shocking announcement — an announcement he has waited half a century to make: “a vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.”
Georgia: A novel of Georgia O’Keeffe
O’Keeffe was the most famous female American artist of the last century — and the most written about. This is a fresh take: It starts with the importance of a good story and a killer bod. To a degree that may shock purists, this is a book about Branding and Marketing, the first two commandments of success in the art world and our world. And then it’s a book about a talent so fierce it crushed pretty much everything in its path — a rare story of artistic triumph. And about learning to love yourself first.
FOR THE DESK
Quattro Parole Italian Notecards and Envelopes
Louise Fili’s box of a dozen note cards and envelopes that are just as distinctive. “Quattro Parole Italiane” is the idea. Four Italian words: ciao (hello), auguri (greetings), grazie (thank you) and prego (with pleasure). Why are these cards so striking? It’s not the words, which are refreshingly ordinary, but the typography, which is dramatic and different and, at the same time, nostalgic and familiar, taking you back to visits to small towns in Italy.
French Notebooks
When you want something more distinctive than a marbleized composition book.
Moleskine Notebooks
The leather-like cover takes more wear than you’ll ever give it. The elastic band is useful both to keep the notebook closed and to mark your place. There’s an inner pocket to hold business cards, receipts and small photographs. The spine is sewn, not glued, so the cover lies flat when it’s opened. The paper is acid-free. What more do you want from a notebook?
Palomino Blackwing Pencils
John Steinbeck wrote with a Blackwing. Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim and Quincy Jones used Blackwings for scores. Chuck Jones drew cartoon figures with Blackwings. They are “the best pencil ever made.”
Emily Dickinson Notecards
A dozen 5-1/2″ x 4-1/4″cards, “made with prints from the beloved poet’s pressed-flower albums, where she collected over four hundred specimens.” With matching envelopes, in a matching box.
FOR THE HOME
Diptyque candles
Janis Joplin said, “What you settle for is who you are.” Her implicit point: Don’t settle.The Diptyque candle, though not cheap, lasts much longer than most other candles — between 50-60 hours. Once it fills a room with scent, you can blow it out and the room will continue to be gently perfumed for hours. And when it’s burned out, you’ve got a vase for short-stemmed flowers.
Burr Coffee Grinder
Not romantic? If you’re serious about coffee, this is a Tiffany ring. Because it runs at a slower speed, it generates less heat. The burrs create uniform grounds. You get a better brew. Not a small thing.
Waterproof: APIE Portable Wireless Outdoor Bluetooth Speaker
Big? Not: 7.3” x 2.8” x 4.5.” Heavy? 11 ounces. Batteries? Not needed. The rechargeable battery is good for 10 hours. Bonus feaure: The Hands-Free Speakerphone lets you pick up a call when it‘s connected to your Smartphone. Expensive? $29.
Puzzle So Hard
1,000-piece puzzles. They’re not of sailing ships or small towns. They’re not like anything. “Some of our puzzles are pretty challenging. Like learning to julienne vegetables. Or that first kickflip ollie. Not quite as hard as getting a crummy stuffed animal out of that arcade claw crane pick-up thingy. But it’s super satisfying to finish and celebrate the solve on one of our bad boys. What I will say is be patient with yourself and use good lighting.”
LOVE SONGS
Etta James
She lived hard, loved and lost and paid the price for everything she got and a lot she didn’t.
Otis Redding
Otis Redding was one of those Olympians who are fantastically good at everything. He could shout. He could dance. He had a straightforward, honest, high-testosterone presence — he was, as one of his hits had it, a “love man.” Watching footage of him performing is a revelation. The Rolling Stones drove teenagers into spasms; Otis’s female fans were adult. They’d had sex, known love, experienced heartbreak. Who wrote the book of love? This man.
Miles Davis: Ascenseur Pour L’Echafaud
The soundtrack to Louis Malle’s first feature film. Miles: “Since it was about a murder and was supposed to be a suspense movie, I used this old, gloomy, dark building where I had the musicians play. I thought it would give the music atmosphere, and it did.”
Bryan Ferry
Lust and longing are so intense here they redline into love. Obsessive love. Love on two bottles of Krug and maybe a puff of Mendocino’s best. Love that jets you out of this vale of struggle and anxiety into elegance and glory.
John Prine: The Tree of Forgiveness
John Prine, at 72, made the best record of the year. The title is the name of a bar he’d like to open in Heaven — a sign of his boundless humanity. The songs are heartfelt. Sometimes hearbreaking. And refreshingly ironic: (“If I came home, would you let me in/ Fry me some pork chops and forgive my sin”).
Astral Weeks
Van Morrison made this breakthrough CD in 1968, when he was 23. It took just four days, cost less than $25,000. It promptly went on best-ever lists. And has never left — this is genius at work, a demonstration of spiritual transcendence. And it’s not just the words that transcend. The band is open, loose, inventive; this music is subtle as jazz and heart-pounding as rock. And Morrison almost seems to be having a good time — in his phrase, “stepping lightly, just like a ballerina.”
Ann Peebles
Imagine if Al Green were female, and you have Ann Peebles. Just about every song on “I Can’t Stand the Rain”is a classic — for other singers. Her career was so under the radio that she barely has cult. Discover her now.
ANTI-FASHION
Allbirds: “the most comfortable shoes ever made.”
Allbirds is a two-year-old major fashion trend of a shoe — made from knit wool and castor bean oil. The two styles (lounger and runner) are unisex and everything is $95 (kids styles are $49-$85)
NOT FOR WOMEN ONLY, BUT MORE FOR WOMEN, I THINK
Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver
Mary Oliver was the most popular — that is, bestselling — poet in America. If you read poetry, that style and message immediately identify the poet for you. Even if you’re only an occasional reader of poetry, you probably know that conversational voice, because it’s almost impossible to be unfamiliar with her most famous line: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?”
Esther Perel: The State of Affairs: Rethinking Adultery
This isn’t a book about overcoming the crisis of an affair, it’s an attempt to launch a fresh conversation.
Woman Walk the Line: How the Women in Country Music Changed Our Lives
The female contributors to this collection are so passionately committed to the female country stars they profile — these 27 singers and songwriters are crucial to them, both culturally and personally.
‘Eva’ and ‘Fin’
By the shoddy standards of what is known as the sex toy industry, these designed-by-women vibrators are revolutionary. They use medical-grade silicone. Their tiny batteries power devices that have three speeds, hold a charge, and are quickly refreshed.
A Piece of the World
The immediate inspiration is “Christina’s World,” Andrew Wyeth’s 1948 painting. It shows a woman lying in the grass on a hillside. Anna Christina Olson (1893 -1968) is the woman in the painting. She suffered from a degenerative muscular disorder that made walking impossible. But she refused to use a wheelchair. She crawled…
PRACTICAL BUT STYLISH
The Filson Briefcase
In a sea of products that look good but quickly fall apart, the Filson briefcase is so well designed and so well made it could be the last briefcase you’ll ever buy. Expensive, but a bargain. You’ll be thanked every day for decades.
Timex Easy Reader Watch
So you didn’t go to Jared. Esquire Magazine: “The simple retro face looks cooler than some watches that cost six times as much.” Spend what you save on something excessive.
NOT FOR MEN ONLY, BUT MORE FOR MEN, I THINK
The Tender Bar
J.R. Moehringer’s father, a noted disc jockey, was out of his mother’s life before J.R. was old enough to remember that he was ever around. His mother, suddenly poor, moves into her family’s house in Manhasset, Long Island. In that house: J.R.’s mother, grandmother, aunt and five female cousins. Also in that house: Uncle Charlie, a bartender at Dickens, a Manhasset establishment beloved by locals who appreciate liquor in quantity— "every third drink free" — and strong opinions, served with a twist. A boy needs a father. If he doesn’t have one, he needs some kind of man in his life. Or men, because it can indeed take a village.
Proraso Shaving Cream
Proraso was formulated by a venerable company in Florence in 1948. More often than not, the man who used it dispensed a small amount in a bowl and applied it with a brush. That’s no longer common, but don’t let the absence of a shaving ritual stop you. The ingredients remain unchanged. All natural, of course.
Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Liquid Hand Soap
What do you do in a casino when you don’t gamble and you’re with a gang of kids? You go to the gift shop. At Caesars Palace I found liquid hand soaps and sanitizers — especially “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Hand Soap, which features an attractive woman in a crisp white blouse and a neighborly smile shaking hands with a man in a suit.
IRONIC
Anne Taintor Coffee Mugs & More
When the 16-year-old buys a t-shirt, it is the quintessential expression of 16-year-old attitude (“National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support.”) So I wasn’t surprised when she gave her mother an inexpensive coffee mug with art of a l940s mom holding a perfect toddler and the words “Parenting… when messing up your own life isn’t enough” or, for my birthday, gave me a mug with “World’s Best Grandpa” on it. These ceramic gloss finish coffee mug are the handiwork of Anne Taintor, who combines Retro advertising images with snarky captions. Choose from 17 mugs, including “If It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere Can I Go Home Now,” “Why Yes, I Am Overqualified,” “The Paleo Diet…. Isn’t That What Killed The Dinos
BRAINS
Mental Clarity
I take it. I feel less of the hysteria and desperation that used to afflict me when I didn’t get my way. And the main thing: The idea factory is working overtime. Does it really work? Even if it’s only a placebo, yes. And when the tablets are gone, the container’s cool.
HEALTH
Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C
I hope I’m not jinxing myself by typing this, but…. since I’ve been taking Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C, I haven’t had a cold. Seriously. For two years. Most of the Vitamin C in pills or capsules — that is, Vitamin C in the form you probably take — never reaches the bloodstream. Estimates of its absorption rate are less than 50%. Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C has a 90% absorption rate. And that’s just the start of the good things liposomes do.
Manuka Honey
Manuka honey comes from New Zealand, where it’s made by bees that feed on the nectar of the manuka tree. Their honey is dark and thick. Its aroma has been described as “damp earth, heather, aromatic.” Benefits? Start with the first thing that manuka lovers tell you: You’ll be more resistant to disease. It’s not just the nutritional value of the honey –– major doses of amino acids, enzymes and B-complex vitamins, particularly thiamin (B1), riboflavin (B2), niacin (B3), pantothenic acid (B5), and B6. Even better, this honey contains substances that stimulate production of cytokine, the proteins involved in strengthening the body’s immune system and helping it fight off pathogens and diseases.
